I’ve never subscribed to the socially acceptable convention of having a “real job.” And yet, I find myself, time and again, caving to societal (and familial) expectations to “grow up” and find myself a salaried position, complete with benefits, and a desk I have to glue myself to, eight hours a day, five days a week.
As cliche as it is, Einstein’s quote about doing the same thing over and over being the definition of stupidity, runs through my head while I continue to perpetuate a cycle that makes me physically and mentally sick. I have worked multiple jobs where I’m stuck behind a desk, forced to stare at a screen, clicking and typing all day long. Where socializing is frowned upon, and proficiency comes second to volume of work completed. At each one of these different jobs, I have been unhappy. It doesn’t matter if the people are wonderful, or if the tasks are bearable. Being stuck to the same schedule, lather, rinse, repeat, every single day is draining for me.
I understand that not everyone will understand this. And that some people genuinely love their corporate office jobs. I’m just not one of those people. And yet, I keep forcing myself to try and be one. Because when I am looking for a job or figuring out my next step, people pipe up with their unwanted opinions and advice about getting a “real job.” As if teaching yoga isn’t “real,” or working in a retail setting isn’t “real.” As if these are just fake jobs, or more likely, jobs to not be taken seriously. Jobs that do not fall into their (and society’s) definition of a successful job.
And I allow myself to be swayed by this. To be brainwashed by this. But in reality, my favourite jobs have been ones where I’ve been able to move around, chat with people, think creatively, and be flexible with my schedule. And yet I sacrifice my own happiness time and again for the sake of making other people happy. For the look of relief on other people’s faces when I tell them I got a corporate job. To avoid the look of repulsion on their face if I tell them I work in something deemed “less than.” And the most infuriating thing is that I keep trying to people please, and in doing so I fall into jobs and habits that make me terribly unhappy.
I continually sacrifice my own values and dreams for the sake of what other people think, and the result is that I am no where near where I want or wish to be. I downgrade or dismiss my own dreams for the sake of fitting in and making money, and I’m starting to become overwhelmed at the thought of living my entire life this way. I’m becoming terrified of being old and grey and looking back on my life to realize I attempted to achieve none of my dreams, wasting my entire life and all of my potential. Because as much as I dismiss the concept of my own potential. I have it. I know it’s there. But I run from it, hide from it, or completely ignore it because I’m afraid of the pain that will come from tapping into it and having my dreams not work out.
But the truth is, if we all tap into our potential and our unique gifts that we are blessed with, and use them – and I mean really use them – it’s not a failure. It’s growth. We are creating more skills and becoming better at the things we love and are already good at. And even if we go after something and fail, we can learn from that, and apply those lessons to our next attempt. But sitting around, wallowing, and working in a job that murders your soul for a paycheque is not the solution.
I can do anything I put my mind to. And so can you. We can do this together. Chase those dreams that we tell ourselves are wild, crazy, out of reach, or for someone else. They aren’t. They are our dreams for a reason. We aren’t born thinking we cannot do something, or that our dreams are not worthy. Kids don’t think that way. As we grow, we are told these things by other people, by any external source that exerts its ideas and opinions on our malleable brains. And we absorb that and think it’s the truth. But it’s not. You can do it. If you have the capacity to dream it, you have the ability to achieve it. It might take a lot of work and a lot of struggle, but, again at the risk of sounding cliche, you only live once.
We are only given one life, and in this capitalist society we have been born into, we are forced to accumulate wealth in order to provide ourselves with the basic necessities of life. But how we accumulate this wealth is up to us. Just because your parents work a 9-5 job, or are doctors, or own their own business, doesn’t mean you have to do the same if it does not resonate with you.
There is room for all of us on this planet, and there is room for all of us to chase our dreams. Just because someone is doing something that you want to do, doesn’t mean there isn’t room for you, or that you can’t do it. Because no one can bring to the table the same set of skills, ideas, and talents that you have. We all have our own unique gifts and perspectives; just because someone else is living the life you dream of, doesn’t mean that you can’t too.
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